Overheard in New York City

A few blurbs from one of the funniest websites I've come across (www.overheardinnewyork.com):

Customer: Um, excuse me, I ordered a root beer float, but you gave me a beer float.
Burger girl: Oh my god... I'm sorry.
Customer: I mean, I like your custard, and I like beer, but...
Random guy: Hey, can I have it?

--The Shake Shack

Young Asian man to Asian woman with baby, while touching baby's foot: She is so soft. Does she have bones yet?

Asian mom: Yes, she has bones!

--L Train

Old guy: Hey! You respect your elders! Don't be disrespectful to your elders!

12-year-old boy: Shut the fuck up! Come here! Come over here! I'll fuck you up! Fuck you!

Passerby: I'd love to see an old man and a little kid throw down in the middle of Union Square.



--Union Square

Drunk NYU girl: So, what I'd really like to do is help the innocent... [Drunk friend laughs.] With, like, fireballs!



--Bowery & 4th

Girl: Ugh! Can I hang myself with your tie, please?
Guy: No! I love this tie!

--110th & Manhattan

Fat lady #1: Excuse me, could you move over?
Thin woman: Well, I can't move over anymore.
Fat lady #1: Excuse me, could you move over?
Fat lady #2: There is no way you're going to fit in that space.
Fat lady #1: If you moved over I could. I'm not fat like you.
Fat lady #2: Not only are you fat, but you're crazy. You think I'm fat? Get away before I eat you.

--E Train

Mother: Oh my god! I just saw a bird fly by the window! Isn't that neat?
Teen: Don't be ridiculous, Mom. Birds can't fly that fast. It was probably a bullet.

--LaGuardia

Older brother: Ha ha, you look like a mice.
Younger brother: You don't even know how to speak. You're supposed to say I look like a mouse.
Older brother: No, a mice is a mouse when it's still little.

--Gristedes, Henry Street

AND FINALLY... this is one I've actually said before to those register to vote people outside of WalMart:

Young woman: Hey, would you like to sign up and register to vote?
Man: No, thanks. I'm an illegal alien.

--Grand Concourse, the Bronx