Single Again

Seriously. Seriously? Seriously!

This is retarded. Why is dating so freaking complicated and hard? Why can't two people like each other for who they are and then work toward having a meaningful relationship? It all sounds so simple but in reality, it's so... ridiculous. So my "boyfriend" and I had only been officially together for like two months and he decides that he doesn't feel any type of deep connection with me. Which confused and hurt me, but at the same time it made me open my eyes and realize that my feelings for him were luke-warm. I liked him, yes. But was it a like that could potentially turn into love? I think that I really liked him in the beginning, and instead of that feeling turning into something more... it just kind of plateau'ed and stopped. It just... hit the max. So the end of the story is that "we" (and by we I mean he) decided that we should take a step back and just date. He said that "we" (again, he) are just not ready for a committed relationship. UGH. I think I am more than ready, I'm just not feeling it with him. I told him I don't work backwards but I thought I'd let this play out and see what actually happens. In my mind, the relationship and "we" were totally over. I have no interest in trying to fix something that shouldn't have been put together in the first place.

Anyway, on a brighter note... I've actually started dating someone else. The night of the "breakup talk" I decided to 1. change my FB status back to single (which I realize is petty and immature, but hey... he brought up the talk so I'm allowed to reclaim my single status) 2. reactivate my Match profile. I realize the stigma that comes along with online dating, but at the same time... fuck it. I'd rather use this site and meet lots of new potentially fun people to hang out with rather than sit at home and whine about what a sad life I have. Honestly, all my friends are from high school so I hardly meet any friends-of-friends, my school program is 95% women, and my work? Well... right now it's just me and my boss in our department so it's not like I have a lot of variety. I mean yeah, there are other people at work but almost everyone is older, gay, or a woman. Really, the only person who is CLOSE to my age is this Asian minister guy. Yikes... not my style.

So the new guy... well. I don't want to jinx anything but he's pretty great. We had an awesome 1st date (Cafe Brasil and coffee) and actually have a mutual acquaintance! Such a coincidence. He's 30 and lives about 10 miles from me (much better than 55 miles from me) and he's Chinese. Which is new for me... usually I date white guys. But I like spending time with him, he makes me feel smart and funny, and I feel like I can be more of myself around him. I guess most of my friends are Chinese so it makes sense that I feel more comfortable around this new guy. Our second date was also great... LACMA (ooh art!), sushi, and coffee. He also managed to somehow teach me chess. My brain was super drained after two games though... so hard to remember all the different moves. But yes. He's so smart, funny, polite, a gentleman, playful, and... familiar. Is that weird?

I'm worried that I got over the other guy so fast, but if something feels right... then shouldn't I just go for it?