Deep Thoughts by Christy

Ah yes. So almost 7 pm on Thursday night. And I am still. at. work. How lame! But whatevah, if I wait for the 8 pm shuttle, I don't have to bus it home. I can just walk through the park straight to the apt. I'll miss the season finale of The Office, but as Brian so kindly pointed out, I can just buy it off iTunes for $2. Sweet.

Anyway. So I've been listening to the Wreckers CD which is actually the quasi-new band that Michelle Branch started after she had her baby with her disgustingly old husband. The CD is pretty good and one song really speaks to me. "Speaks to me." I can't believe I just said that... I'm retarded. Anyway, back to the case in hand. So this song TOTALLY reminds me of "W" back in college. I don't want to use his name because... well I'm not really sure why... because the people reading this won't ever talk to him. Anyway, I'm still using "W" in lieu of the real name of my ex.

Here are the lyrics to "Leave the Pieces" by the Wreckers:

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair you know
To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't wanna to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown

[Chorus]
And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you've left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

[Chorus]

You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Chorus]

Leave the pieces when you go
Oh yeah
Leave the pieces when you go
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Leave the pieces when you go

And it totally reminded me of what I felt when I was with W. I felt like he liked me JUST enough that he didn't want me to be with other people. But he didn't like me enough to want to be WITH me. It totally made me feel like I was a piece of crap. But now that I reflect back on it, he was the piece of crap because even though he couldn't help how he felt, he could've been the bigger person to walk away. He knew that I liked him and he knew that I cared... the only issue was him. And he knew that. I tried to leave like three times but it just didn't work because he liked me just enough that he didn't want me to leave (until he was ready of course). Anyway, now that it's been almost 2 complete years that I've been out of college... I should be feeling mature, etc. Anyway. I'm not really feeling depressed. Just more reflective. And now that I read back on what I wrote, I feel like an idiot for still thinking about crap like this even though it's been over and done with for almost three years. Yikes.